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July 10, 2012

As I like to do once in a while around here, I’m going to start you off with some reading material, then completely fucking eviscerate the jerk-off who wrote it.  So sit back, relax, and enjoy the rhetorical ramblings of a retard:

So A Girl Walks Into A Comedy Club…

Now, it should be no surprise to anyone who has spent even the slightest bit of time around here that I am a big, big, Daniel Tosh fan.  He is twice as funny as I could ever hope to be on my best day, and clearly I appreciate his style of humor, and I practice it, albeit  amateurishly.  So you have to know where I am going to go with this.  My problem with this twat, however, is not just because of her putrid attempt to make my “Yoda” look bad.  My problem also stems from a more general disgust with her me-first attitude, which I am absolutely fucking sure permeates her life on a daily basis.  Where to start, where to start?

So let me get this straight:  You and a friend bought tickets to a comedy club featuring one comedian you don’t really like (Dane Cook), and others that you have never heard of.  Then, after realizing that the headlining comedian (Yeah, he is the headliner.  So if you had never heard or seen him, it is more of a reflection of how far your head is rammed up your tight ass than it is a reflection of his lack of celebrity.) was using a comedic styling that didn’t suit your particular taste, you decided to interfere with the performance in order to make your indignation known to everyone.  What an insufferable twat you must be.

For the record, I have no problem with you being offended.  You absolutely have the right to decide for yourself what is funny and what crosses the line.  What you don’t have the right to do is disrupt a performance that other people paid good money to enjoy.  You are not my moral compass (Thank Christ).  You do not get to decide for the rest of the room what is funny and what is offensive.  What you do get to do, should you choose to, is quietly, and without incident, gather your belongings and exit the club.  Chalk it up to wasted money and a valuable lesson that maybe, being that you have the sense of humor of a fucking door knob, walking into a comedy club spontaneously isn’t the right choice for you when deciding on an evening’s entertainment.  Stick to reruns of “Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman”, or whatever awful horse shit PAX-TV is running that night, and maybe get a little saucy with a wine-cooler.  Who knows?  Let’s get crazy.

But that’s not good enough for you, is it?  Because you are the imbecile who calls the FCC when Janet Jackson shows half a nipple for a millisecond at the Super Bowl.  You are the fucking spinster that writes threatening e-mails to TV stations when a naughty word slips through a live prime time broadcast.  You are the girl who thinks she has the pulse of the people beating in her chest, and will protect us, for our own good, from the profanity that is delivering this country directly to Satan’s door.  Gimme a break.  Go back to spending your night’s indulging in the “Twilight” books and stay the fuck out of my entertainment.

God, can you just imagine how awful this woman is in bed?

Oh, and if you are going to use a blog to get your point across, sweetheart, at least have the guts to have a comments section posted below to give people a chance to discuss how badly you suck.  What a pussy-ass way to get your point across.  Grow some balls under those granny panties, instead of running away to avoid criticism…

  1. Lindsay permalink

    Long time reader, first time commenter. I agree wholeheartedly! I cannot fathom the stupidity it takes to not know who Daniel Tosh is. Let alone heckle any comedian. Love your ramblings.

    • I agree whole heatedly too. But I don’t think that not having heard of someone is indicative of stupidity. Ignorance, maybe. Is it stupidity to not be familiar with every member of pop culture, or is it okay with you if some of us are busy with our lives and maybe didn’t manage to catch Tosh’s act thus far? I would never heckle a comedian either. I have great respect for comedy in all it’s forms. But I must say, Lindsay, that I can’t fathom the stupidity of your statement.

      • That’s whole heartedly…but I enjoy the Freudian autocorrect slip there…

      • The only reason I took a shot at the girl for not knowing who he was is because she went out of her way in her original post to imply that he was a no-name “hillbilly” with an “awkward” stage presence. Meanwhile the guy has like 7 million Twitter followers. It was a response directly to her, not an indictment of anyone else who isn’t familiar with him…

  2. Siobhan permalink

    I agree that it was rude of this woman to call out during a performance. She & her friend should have gotten up and left instead of disrupting the show.
    That said, I have no idea who Daniel Tosh is & I don’t think that makes me stupid. I am a fan of Dane Cook’s though, so I could imagine randomly deciding to go see him at a comedy club. I also think the concept of a “rape joke” is completely disgusting, and if a “comedian” has to resort to trying to make rape funny, they are probably not very talented. Rape is not funny and being offended by someone who is making light of it does not make one stuck-up, uptight or bad in bed.
    You have a daughter. How would you feel if she was sexually assaulted and had her world turned around, and then gets to listen to how funny it was by some ass trying to make money off of it? There’s lots to laugh about in this world, sexual assault is not one of them.

    • I was planning a whole wordy response to you, point by point, but then realized it was taking on a broader theme and was turning into a full post, which will be up tonight at some point. I havent written it yet. I would like to pull some quotes from your comment and reply to them in the general post, with your permission. I’m not looking to beat you up, because you make some points that, while I disagree, are worth discussing. I wouldnt do it without your permission, so let me know if you are OK with it.

      • Siobhan permalink

        Sorry didnt get back sooner, busy etc… but I have no problem having an adult debate, so go for it (although I think you already did.. i will read it in a few)

      • Im putting my little ones to bed, then I am going to respond to your comment individually. Thanks for getting back, I just went ahead and posted the main write up already and I didnt want to publicize your comment without your permission. Give me like half an hour. DOnt want you think I am ignoring you…

      • Siobhan permalink

        I just read and commented on what you posted already… I’ll be putting my older little one to bed shortly, and then will probably be off for the night, so I may not get a chance to re-respond until tomorrow night (as you said, don’t want you to think I’m ignoring you) ;o)

      • OK. Let me go point by point.
        1. Yeah, Dane Cook is a hack.
        2. If my daughter were ever raped, I wouldnt spend one second blaming some comedien who made an off-color joke. I would be focusing all my attention to whoever actually raped her. Now, I may not find that kind of joke funny anymore, but that doesnt mean he doesnt have the right to say it.
        3. I only made fun of her for not knowing Tosh becasue in her post she inferred that he was some “hillbilly” nobody with his “awkward” stage presence. I mean the guy has like 7 million followers on Twitter, so lets take it easy implying he is a nobody. I didnt mean that anyone, you included, who doesnt know him is stupid. I was throwing her ignorant statement back in her face.
        3. I dont think being offended makes her stuck up. I think the fact that she needs to try to stop everyone else from enjoying what she finds offensive makes her stuck-up. I said a few times in yesterdays post that she has every right to be offended. The bad in bed thing was half a joke, although my guess is that is probably accurate anyway.
        I think anything else I wanted to respond to you I did in the new post tonight, generally speaking.

  3. Lauren permalink

    I agree with everything you just said, Siobhan. The woman should never have disrupted the performance but simply walked out if she didn’t like it. I like Dane Cook and Daniel Tosh and would probably have gone to see them had I gotten the chance. Tosh, however, needs to learn that some things just are not funny. I enjoy watching his show and like him most of the time but sexual assault is never humerous. He lost points on that one.

    • CHeck out the reply I sent to Siobhan below. Now pretend I wrote it to you. Meaning I want to pull some excerpts and discuss them in a post on the site I am planning for tonight. Again, not a hatchet job, because I respect your contribution, but I feel its a topic worth discussing on a larger scale. I dont agree with most of what you said, but I don’t think it deserves any angst, so I just want to make an actual discussion about it. Let me know if you are OK with it. I won’t include your comment if you arent comfortable with it.

  4. Keri K permalink

    OMG Daniel Tosh is the funniest man to walk the face of this earth. Ever.
    But, SOB, you know what kind of rape is NOT funny? The kind where Tosh sexually assaults me because I would enjoy it. Hell, my husband would probably even let him get up in there if given the chance.

    There are different types of humor and different types of senses of humor, I get that. But no need to cause a scene. And by god, why would you even pay to see Dane Cook?!?!!? Blech.

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