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Taking Back Control…

April 16, 2013

I am a nobody.  I’m not being self-deprecating or fishing for compliments with that statement.  It just is what it is.  I am a nobody, and most likely, you are too.  I am average in every possible sense of the word.  I work a middle-class job.  I live in a middle-class town.  I drive a Toyota Camry, for Christ’s sake.  Therefore, I tend to not get terribly wrapped up in events that I have no control over, like global terrorism.  That doesn’t mean I am not saddened or that I don’t sympathize with those involved.  It just means that I try to move on with my life as soon as possible, because living in fear is no fuckin way to live.  Also, every minute I spend worrying about things that are out of my control is one less minute I can spend dealing with situations that are.

(Get to the point, stupid.)

Over the last few days, I have been tracking a story out of San Jose, California.  It’s the true story  of a 15-year-old girl who makes the all too common mistake of drinking too much at a friend’s house.  (We’ve all been there.)  After passing out on a bed in the crowded house, three teenage boys stripped her down, raped her, then drew all over her unconscious, naked body in marker.  Then, as if this wasn’t enough of a display of inhumane monstrosity, they made sure to document the event with their goddamn, fucking cell phone cameras.  Two weeks later, after suffering not only the indignity of a sexual assault, but the humiliation caused by the circulation of the pictures of her naked, defiled body, the little girl called her mother and begged her to pick her up from school.  Seems the embarrassment was too much to bear.  Once home, she hung herself in her room.  Yup.  Hung herself in her room.  Here’s the news report:

This isn’t just a story of three asshole teenagers.  This is the story of hundreds, if not thousands, of asshole teenagers.  Obviously, the lion’s share of the blame lies with the three rapists.  They should not only be charged with sexual assault, but should also be held legally responsible for that girls death.  But there are others.  How about everyone at that house party that allowed this to go on?  Where were her “friends”?  How about every student at that school who had no problem sharing those pictures and laughing at them, and her? How about every kid that taunted that girl in the hallway at school or stood by idly while others mocked her?  All have some responsibility in this tragic ending.  Every single one.  This is who we are raising, America.

So while I cannot stop a terrorist, or a group of terrorists, from blowing up a marathon, or a building, or a concert, or a sporting event, I CAN look at my children and spend every moment I can making sure that they are raised with the respect and empathy and morality that so many parents are too busy, or too fucking lazy, to instill in their children.  That is something I can control.

So maybe over the coming days, rather than wasting your fucking time sharing worthless pictures of lit candles super-imposed over American flags in tribute to Boston on Facebook, you can take that minute to remind your children, no matter how young, that they have a responsibility to humanity to treat every life with the dignity and respect that they would demand for themselves.  While it may never save a marathon runner in Boston, it may just save a 15 year old girl in San Jose…

  1. Kami Genus permalink


  2. I don’t understand how it seems like there are more and more helicopter parents who wont let their child leave their side for a second but these hoverers are not teaching the spawn how to be a human being. Actually, now that I think about it, most likely it’s that the kids don’t get to play with other kids, never get to do anything without mommy dearest standing over their shoulder so they don’t get this crazy behavior out of their system at 2-3 like they normally would. I don’t really know why (obviously) but thanks for the post.

    • To me, the connection is pretty simple: Helicopter parenting teaches kids one thing: That they are the only important thing in the world. When you cater to your kids every desire, it instills a sense of self-centerdness that disables the kids ability to recognize that there actions affect other people and that they should care at all about the affect their actions have on others. Because their whole lives they have been taught that NOTHING is as important as their own happiness, regardless of the cost…

  3. Jody permalink

    very well said!

  4. Absolutely! Stop raising assholes.

  5. That is such a sad story. I live in that area and I don’t remember hearing a thing about it. Shit like this scares me as I have a 6 yr old girl. I will teach her responsibility, how to protect herself, and how to call me if she ever feels she is in a situation where she does not feel safe, even if she is drunk or high (which I will also do my best to teach her to stay away from that shit). This young lady made a mistake and got drunk and passed out. And she was violated in every way possible. That could have been any of our daughters, no matter what type of parenting they were raised with.

    After these boys did such a horrible act, how on earth could they circulate it through out the school, without adults not knowing about it until it got out of hand? Other kids didn’t report it until it got out of hand? Why did this video go viral? Why did these students find such a horrible act amusing enough to spread it around school instead of stopping it right away? These are the things I want to teach my daughter that is completely unacceptable behavior and she has a responsibility has a member of humanity to do all she can to help stop it.

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